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--></style><title>Computer based levity....</title></head><body>
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<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">A cowboy was herding his cows in a
remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust
cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci
shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks
the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you
have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">The cowboy looks at the man,
obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and
calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">The yuppie parks his car, whips out
his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell
phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a
GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location
which h e then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in
an ultra-high- resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital
photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing
facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on
his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
receives a response.</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">Finally, he prints out a full-color,
150-page report on his hi- tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and
finally turns to the cowboy and says,"You have exactly 1,586 cows
and calves."</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">"That's right. Well, I guess
you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">He watches the young man select one
of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the
trunk of his car.</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">Then the cowboy says to the young
man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will
you give me back my calf?"</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">The young man thinks about it for a
second and then says, "Okay, why not?"</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">You're a Congressman for the U.S.
Government", says the cowboy.</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">"Wow! That's correct,"
says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">"No guessing required."
answered the cowboy.</font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1"> </font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="-1"></font></div>
<div><font face="Arial" size="-1">"You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter
than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... Now give me
back my dog."</font></div>
<div><br></div>
<x-sigsep><pre>--
</pre></x-sigsep>
<div><font face="Times New Roman" color="#000000">Victoria L. Herring,
Attorney, Discrimination & Employment Law,
<http://www.HerringLaw.com>; Travel research,
<http://www.JourneyZing.com> ; Photographs at
http://victoriajz.smugmug.com and
http://www.buyiowaart.com. Upcoming shows: Adel
Sweet Corn Festival, August 12th and Two Rivers Festival, November
10-12th, downtown Des Moines.</font></div>
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